That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
