I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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