I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Are my feet made of real feet?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Randomize
