I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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