did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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