You're my little dorito
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
