WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize