I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Sext me about skeletons
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
