Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
This is the high leading the old right now
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
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