You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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