I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
im on a boat
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