I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
He's on the porch naked. Help.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
