what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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