i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
you mean i was at the winter classic?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
