im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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