She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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