Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
