Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
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