did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
