oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
What drink are we having for lunch?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
