girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
When are your genitals available?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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