im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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