I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
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I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
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That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
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