What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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