i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
