Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
