I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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