Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
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