no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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