is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
