So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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