I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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