Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
