overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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