i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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