Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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