Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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