I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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