so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
