Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
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You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
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My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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