I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize