I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
