I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
