she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize