Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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