what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
