Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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