Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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