beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize