No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
