His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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