People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
