I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
