mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
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I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
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Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat