Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Maybe he injected his testicle?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.