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If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
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